TODAYS' JOKE!

[P.R.A.D.A]

A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play. He tells her, "No. These are for boys."

The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother. The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football in his face. The little boy angrily points to his boy's bike and says, "Oh yeah? Well, only boys can get these!"

But the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points to his unit, and says, "Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!"

The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, points
to her bits, and proclaims, "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want."

 

[Preety Light]

Funny that....

Three women are discussing their teenage daughters.
The first declares: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter''s room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn't even know that she smoked!"

"It gets worse than that," says the second mother. "I was tidying my daughter''s room last week and I found a bottle of vodka under her bed. I didn't even know that she drank!"

"Oh, it gets even worse than that," says the third mother. "I was tidying my daughter''s room last week and you''ll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet: a packet of condoms! I didn't even know that she had a penis!"

[Preety Light]

Brittany was on her deathbed, with her husband Adam at her side.
She kept trying to tell him something, but he kept saying, "Shhhh, don't worry now darling, just rest."

"But honey," she whispered, "I need to make a confession before I die... I slept with your brother, your best friend, and your father."

"Don't worry about it, sweetie," replied Adam as he wiped the tears from Brittany's cheek, "I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"

[EMOBCBGIQUE]

  PRADA PRADA Now that was funny. Now here is one: Mr Patel went to a restaurant in one of the towns of Africa.....while seated on his chair waiting for someone to attend to him, a man comes to him and asks: Mr Patel 'are you comfortable??'' and Mr Patel answers: '' No No No, I didnt come for table, I came for Tea''.

[P.R.A.D.A]

HOW TO HAVE FUN @A DRIVE THRU!!

1. Drive through the drive-thru in reverse and let your passenger order.
2. Ask the price of almost everything on the menu and then order something that you didn't ask the price for.
3. Tell the employee that your window is broken. Order and then pay with your door open. When the food comes, roll down the window and snatch your order from their hands.
4. Go to McDonald's and demand a big breakfast at 11:30 at night. Put up a fight.
5. Pay for a large order in pennies and nickels.
6. Order in another language. Be careful what neighborhood you're in.
7. When asked if they can take your order, tell them you are just window-shopping and drive on.
8. Laugh sadistically when asked if you would like ketchup.
9. Ask the cashier how they fit into that little box.
10. If they make you wait, make them wait when they come back on.
11. Demand to speak to the manager. When they come on, complain that you did not like the way the employee said, "May I take your order?"
12. When asked if they can take your order say, "Why, can I take yours?"
13. If they ask you to wait, order anyway and keep doing it till they yell at you.
14. Pretend your car has broken down. Ask for assistance moving it. When they come out, drive away.
15. Tell them you have to use the bathroom.
16. Order a cup of water and two napkins. That's it.
17. Don't order when they come on. Just sit there. If a line forms behind you, get out of the car and cause a scene.
18. When they hand you your food, hand them a bag with all the trash from your car in it.
19. Just stare at them when you pay and get your food. Don't break your stare.
20. Honk your horn the whole way through the line.

[EMOBCBGIQUE]

Kie Kie u guys are funny. OK there was once this married african man who had a small penis. in 1980, His wife was so divastated that she requested him to go and see a sangoma (wich doctor). So he went in the name of keeping his marriage. Upon reaching the doctor, he was given a small plant to go and plant at a secret location were not even his wife would see it. With this charm, the doctor told the misarable man that all was well coz as long as the plant grew, even his penis would grow proportionate to the plant until the size reached a satisfactory level and also that plant would be uprooted or cut. All went on well and the man never even told his wife about the charm and were the plant was.

Now the man was involved in a coup and was forced to go in exile due to danger within the political climate in his country. Now imagine the man has been in exile til today and he never cut the plant/tree.

[EMOBCBGIQUE]

ok another one. There was once a clever nurse who was married and had two boyfriends. One night boyfriend 1 came over for some sex. As they were having sex boyfriend 2 arrived and then she told boyfriend 1 that her husband had come. She ordered him to go under the bed and to put himself inside a 90kg bag of maize meal. When boyfriend 2 entered they started having sex. While in the act her husband came and she whispered to boyfriend 2 that ''hey, my husband has come so pick your present under the bed, a bag of maize meal and run away so i will see u tomorrow''. Boyfriend 2 did what he was told so he picked the bag and dashed through the window and off he went. What happened thereafter, no body knows .

[MarkyS]

Funny that....

Three women are discussing their teenage daughters.
The first declares: "I was so shocked last week. I was tidying my daughter''s room and I found a packet of cigarettes under her pillow. I didn't even know that she smoked!"

"It gets worse than that," says the second mother. "I was tidying my daughter''s room last week and I found a bottle of vodka under her bed. I didn't even know that she drank!"

"Oh, it gets even worse than that," says the third mother. "I was tidying my daughter''s room last week and you''ll never guess what I found in her bedside cabinet: a packet of condoms! I didn't even know that she had a penis!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA etc.

[QAISARI]

An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery.
During one Sunday's sermon he told them,
"If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit!"
Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen."
From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen."
This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine
for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93.
Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor.
The priest was quite concerned. 
"You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor.
You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about
having fallen!"
The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code
word to the new priest. But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said -
"I don't know why you're laughing; your wife fell three times last week!"