LETS FACE IT, ENGLISH...IS A STUPID LANGUAGE!

[Preety Light]

Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?
Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger,
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught, Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and Drive on parkways. Fashion models strut their stuff on a runway.

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
it burns down.
And in which you fill in a form by filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch it starts
But when I wind up this observation, it ends

[MUANA MBOKA]

Wow,this is thought provocking,i totally agree with the observations in this masterpiece of writing!

[MarkyS]

Ha ha ha! That's hilarious. I've often thought about that...

If there were no golf balls... how would we measure hail?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn't it follow that electricians should be delighted?
Musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed,
tree surgeons debarked, and drycleaners depressed?

and if people from Poland are called Poles, shouldn't people from Holland be called Holes?

mmmh... yeah, English is stupid...

[spanky]

Shocking!!!thats all i've got to say,and its funny also

[MUANA MBOKA]

..and if people from Poland are called Poles, shouldn't people from Holland be called Holes?

English is really stupid!

[MarkyS]

English is really stupid!

Finally! We havent spoken in what seems like ages! How ya doing? But yeah... I agree, ENGLISH IS SUPER RETARDED! And I'm VERY patriotic to England... so...

[MarkyS]

Nutrition and Health

Japanese eat very little fat and drink very little red wine
Mexicans eat a lot of fat
Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine
Germans drink a lot of beer and eat very fatty food

All these people have fewer heart attacks than the British or the Americans

Conclusion: Eat and drink whatever you want. Speaking English is what kills you.

[spanky]

True that!even if i have to say so myself,ha!ha!ha!

[Preety Light]

Nutrition and Health

Conclusion: Eat and drink whatever you want. Speaking English is what kills you.

NOPE!!! Me, disagree with that! English might be a stupid lingo but speaking it killing someone....mhh....NO! Unless if you explain to me how then . . .  maybe I might agree.

[MarkyS]

NOPE!!! Me, disagree with that! English might be a stupid lingo but speaking it killing someone....mhh....NO! Unless if you explain to me how then . . .  maybe I might agree.

It's a joke! It's parody. It's irony. It's simplicity at it's best... I read it in a book, and thought it would be fitting to post it here...

[Preety Light]

I bet the book was written in ENGLISH . . . 

[MarkyS]

I bet the book was written in ENGLISH . . . 

No kidding.